The Parent Trap

Parenting! What a topic! I feel like talking about this is kind of strange for me because one week of focusing on parenting in no way compares to the experience of raising a child (which I have not yet done. But I learned a lot that I want to share! This week we began with a really great quote that said: 

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them."
-President Thomas S. Monson

I love this quote and I think it embodies one of the most important things that I learned this week which is what we are designed and made to raise families! And when it comes down to it, we CAN raise a human no matter how scary that seems. More than anything I love how this quote doesn't say anything about being perfect which we often expect for ourselves- instead, it shows that the most important thing that we can do for children is LOVE them. When we make decisions out of love, often we will make the right decision, even if it may not be the best one- it will be okay, and it can still be right!

That being said, being a parent is NOT easy! Challenges will arise, children will not be able to be parented the same way, it will be difficult, but it will be rewarding! My goal this week is to give some tips and context to inform and help as well as to show that you are not alone in the challenges that you are having!

The first concept that is important to understand is that children need love! Developmentally, children will not grow properly without physical touch! They need it! While this may seem like it doesn’t fit in with the parenting topic, it does! Children misbehave for many reasons, but most importantly, when they misbehave it is important that they still feel loved and cared for.

The next important topic when it comes to parenting is how to respond when there is a behavior that is not desirable. Let me start out with an example!

When I was about 10 years old my parents told me to take a shower. I didn’t want to take a shower, so I sat on the stairs reading a book for about 10 minutes until my parents discovered me there! They scolded me and told me to go upstairs and shower. So, I took my book upstairs and sat in the bathroom and read for another 10 minutes until my parents discovered that I wasn’t in the shower. So, they once again scolded me and turned on the shower and left me to shower. I continued to read my books for another 10 minutes until they discovered me reading. They then took my book, picked me up and put me in the shower with all my clothes on and then left me to shower. I don’t remember the shower, but I do remember crying for a long time.

This may not be the BEST example of parenting, but I do have very loving and wonderful parents who may have resolved that situation better with a few simple correctional steps! We will get back to the example in a moment!

A parent’s responsibility in correcting is to:

-       First, recognize and let the child accept natural consequences! Use these so that you and your child are on the same side when possible!

-       Second to make sure that when the natural consequences aren’t teaching and correcting the behavior that you step in to keep your child SAFE and keep those that your child might be influencing SAFE as well.

-       When punishment is necessary, discuss the punishment ahead of time so that it is agreed upon and acknowledged by both the parent and the child.

-       Follow through with the punishment that is enforced and agreed upon previously.

-       Give another chance to perform the activity properly or to not engage in the behavior that is undesirable.

-       Encourage the child- let them know that you know they can do it and they can behave properly

Looking back at my example there were a few things done properly but somethings that could have been improved. The beauty of parenting is that your children love you and even when you aren’t perfect, you can still love them and try to be better!

This is a picture of me, my sister, and my boyfriend this weekend with my parents at Lagoon! We got SOAKED on the log ride!!